Feeling isolated

You are not alone

When special guardians contact our advice line to talk about how they feel lonely or isolated, the same themes come up often. Of course, every person is different, but be assured that other people may be going through a similar experience and how you feel is valid.

We often hear from guardians who say they feel like their world has got smaller. Their social life has changed and getting out to meet friends isn’t as easy as it once was. Again, this is quite normal and something that affects many parents, not just guardians.

Be open and honest

It also goes without saying that becoming a special guardian is a huge life event that you probably hadn’t planned for. We know that some people struggle with what can be a sudden change in direction. Others talk about a sense of grief for the life they either had or expected.

It’s okay for you to feel that way. It doesn’t change your love for the child you care for or affect your ability to give them the support they need. People feel isolated for all sorts of reasons and for most guardians, the best way to deal with it is to be honest and open up.

Share how you are feeling

If you feel you can, speak to your family and friends about how you are feeling. First, they may be able to take on some of the practical parts of being a guardian. But sharing what you’re going through may also make them more able to support you emotionally.

Family and friends will also have their own network of people in their lives. Could they invite you into their world a little more? Is there a local group or activity that you’re both interested in and able to join? Sit down together, talk it through and make plans for the coming weeks and months.

Check your support plan

Every special guardian and child they care for should have a support plan, but it’s easy to forget about it when you’re busy living your daily life. When guardians contact us, we often discuss their support plan and go through how they were feeling previously and the help they thought they would need.

This is a useful exercise, because it helps you reflect on what you said then and how you feel now. Is your support plan still relevant? It’s worth spending some time with it to understand how things can change and make good decisions about the future.

Do something just for you

Feeling isolated can knock your confidence and make it difficult to get our and see people. But it can really help if you are able to take that step and meet other people. You can contact people you already know or go somewhere familiar, but there are other activities too.

If the child you care for is a baby or toddler, there will be local groups you can attend where you will be made to feel welcome. Older children enjoy clubs and activities where you can get to know other parents who have children the same age.

Speak to your doctor

If your feelings of isolation are having a serious impact on your mental health and affecting your daily life, you may want to book an appointment with your doctor. They are there to listen and help you find a way forward that makes things easier.

If you are worried about your safety or in an emergency, contact your doctor immediately or consider calling 999.