Poor health and death

Natural to worry

Most people don’t like to think or talk about poor health and death. Even though it’s inevitable that every one of us will die, dread, anxiety and fear still surround death — even the word alone.

For guardians and children living in special guardianship, anxiety about death can increase due to the fear of further loss in the child's life.

If they are uncertain about a future without you, it can affect your daily lives and harm your mental and physical health. We know that many guardians struggle to know what to do and say when the child they care for asks what might happen if they were to die.

The good news is our experienced team are here to support you. We can listen with care and provide guidance on planning for the future and coping with the present.

If you have suffered a bereavement or worrying health diagnosis, we can point you to specialist support to help deal with the emotional and practical impact of grief and loss. A good example is the Cruse Bereavement charity.

Name a guardian in your will

You should should take the time to learn what will happen if you die or are unable to continue looking after the child in your care.

You can appoint a guardian in your will to take over care of the child if you die, even if the child’s birth parents are alive. This is known as ‘testamentary guardianship’.

The government had advice on making a will and MoneysavingExpert  has a guide to free and cheap will writing services.

If when you die there is another living special guardian, such as a partner, they will continue to care for the child, not the testamentary guardian.

It is important to appoint a guardian to look after the child you are caring for should you die. It means that you can make sure your child will be looked after by someone you trust, or someone that already has a relationship with the child.

You should always make sure that the person you wish to appoint is happy to take on the role of guardian. They have the right to refuse to take on guardianship. 

Testamentary guardians have equal parental responsibility to birth parents, so it is not the same as being a special guardian, where you have ‘enhanced’ parental rights. However, the testamentary guardian will provide primary day-to-day care for the child.

If no one is named in your will

If no guardian is appointed and there is no surviving special guardian, then the decision about who becomes a legal guardian to the child will be left to the courts.

A court will usually appoint another willing family member. However, the child may not end up with the person that you would have appointed given the choice. 

There will likely be a delay between the death and the court appointing a guardian. During this time, the child may be placed in foster care until a decision is reached, as there will be no one to exercise parental responsibility.

Talk to your family

It can be difficult to discuss death and what will happen when you’re gone, especially with the child you care for. However, having that information can also reduce worry and uncertainty. 

Our team can give you practical advice on how to discuss the topic of death with children of all ages and stages of development.

You can also find practical advice from McMillan and other organisations about how to speak to children and young people about death and serious illness.